Pursuing praxis

After the collapse of the Taggart Bridge, the explosion of Project X, and the blackout in New York City, many of the leaders of Washington emigrated en masse to a promising region of tribal Africa, rich in resources and authentic culture, free from the shackling traditions of narrow-minded, cut-throat capitalism and shallow American culture. There, with moving speeches, kindly smiles, and confidential discussions with chiefs late into the night, they worked to bring the enlightened perspectives of multiculturalism, environmentalism and liberalism to the people of the region. They introduced the novel concepts of welfare benefits for the poor and social responsibility for the few arrogant and wealthy proto-industrialists.

Though slow to initially take hold, these plans of social reform (popularized with the slogan, “Health, wealth and rest for all: Giving for a better tomorrow,”) percolated into the culture like sewer runoff into a parched and fruitless earth, giving rise to the first generation of political leaders of the new Better Tomorrow Party. Over the following decades, these social servants, as they preferred to be called, oversaw the construction of urban infrastructure, implemented a modern curriculum in the new public schools (sensitive to the diverse racial, cultural, religious, and gender differences of its students), and took to task the exploitative CEOs and industrialists, (mostly foreign investors and capitalists, but also a few natives who had risen from the ranks of dusty, penniless bums that littered every thoroughfare and intersection). Through the redistribution of the money expropriated from their customers, these leeches of society were finally made to give back to the people they had profited from for so long.

The efforts and results of this People’s Government (as the unopposed Better Tomorrow Party was referred to), can be seen today. The capital is the commercial hub of the region, with a new 30-story international conference center built by the government to showcase the country’s wealth and attract foreign businessmen and tourists, with the hopes that the added revenue will fund underground sewer systems for the peripheral residential areas. The stately Museum of Science, founded by the imperial colonists over a hundred years ago, attracts researchers from all over the world with its century-old collections of natural and cultural artifacts. A 5-year Museum Beautification Project is currently underway, the resulting unavailability of plumbed water and electricity comically giving the bathroom and laboratory facilities an historical atmosphere. It is hoped this project will spawn a trend in gentrification in that part of town, which is prone to regular power outages and has family incomes well below the national average.

In line with the Dignity First Bill, they city’s residents have the smartest wardrobes on the continent, with the government providing every resident with two Oxford shirts, 2 pairs of stylish trousers, and a pair of loafers (for men), or three blouses, two skirts, and a pair of pumps (for women) each Christmas. Residents are understandably fined for appearing ragged, dirty or unkempt in such clothing (it belongs to the People, after all), which also helps educate and motivate stubbornly lazy individuals, especially those whose homes lack running water, indoor toilets, raised floors, and rain-proof roofs.

Mysteriously, crime has crept upwards, dramatically in recent years, despite three decades of increasingly progressive education. Results from the recent overhaul of policies and regulations to remove the “loopholes,” by which individuals circumvented the law, have evidently yet to become noticeable. Nonetheless, a “tough stand on crime” remains a top priority for citizens and politicians alike, and following the upcoming expansion of the jails and a new military police force (sporting fatigues and berets with their automatic rifles), criminals are sure to think twice before hijacking your car, kidnapping children for ransom, poaching elephants (an official National Treasure), or polluting the air with their 30 year old, diesel-guzzling tin can of a car.

Amidst the tension surrounding the upcoming presidential election (replete with the customary charges of corruption, upsurge of tribal warfare in the rural districts, and threats of terrorism) one may rest securely knowing the country is in good hands, no matter the election outcome. All the candidates vying for the title of Honorable High Chancellor Commander-in-Chief His/Her Excellency The President share a commitment to protect the now-universally recognized human rights to safety, food, shelter, clean water, clean air, health, insurance, education, employment, and retirement pensions. With this unified front against crime, poverty, disease, and ignorance, the future looks bright indeed. Although they have long since passed on, Mr. Thompson, Mr. Mouch, Mr. Chalmers and their brethren in history would be proud of this burgeoning nation.

- by Jim T. Scudder