Don’t run this simulation
I’m generally a pretty nice person, I think. My attitude averages on the positive side of neutral, and two standard deviations don’t stray considerably far from that average, with a noticable tail end in the "quite happy" range.
However, I have recently had the inadvertent opportunity to simulate what I would be like as a peri-homicidal psychotic: dump me into the deep end of computer programing with zero experience and expect 3 hours of "programming for n00bs" lecture to make it all better. I get so frustrated my head wants to explode, and I spend hours managing my rage in order to preserve relationships and stay on the good side of the law. In these situations, judging myself to be bitchy is a good thing - it means I’m only bitchy.
At root, I think I can reasonably attribute it to the self-taught-programmer/professor who learned it 15 years ago and is so competent now that he thinks you can just pick it up, no sweat, in a weekend or two of considered work. No "C++ for Dummies" or "Read this if you value your sanity" pointers or tips or anything. Just a copy of his half-finished draft of his book-in-progress that assumes you know how to program, and then you’re dumped in the deep end with the sort of sympathy that rings exceptionally shallow after a dizzying 80 minute watch-me-program-while-speed-typing-and-juggling-three-windows-on-the-screen lecture. Arrghhh!!
The good news is, I’ve also discovered how to terminate this simulation: drop the damn class.
My blood-pressure, neck muscles, proto-wrinkles, lab-mates, neighbors and boyfriend are all silently thanking me, I’m sure. But it’s nothing compared to how much I’m thanking myself, lol, especially for having the foresight to take enough research credit hours that I’m not in hot water for dropping the class.
Back to work!
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